Super Duper Fan Maggie Tarbox (below right) reveals her secret recipe for a genuine Slipstream-colored kangol:
1. First, you must have established street cred as a rabid…errr…avid follower of Sir Jonathan and his merry band of argyle-clad cycling velociraptors. By this I mean that you have given at least two Garmins as holiday presents, you have purchased a baker’s dozen of argyle water bottles and you will travel over 100 miles for a Chipotle burrito.
2. Next, knit or crochet a hat (in Slipstream colors – using 100% wool) that is approximately 10 times the size of an actual human head. It should look like the hat the kid from The Fat Albert wore (above).
3. Then, throw an old pair of jeans and the ginormous hat into your washing machine with a teeny bit of dish soap (not dishwasher soap). Put the machine on low water and hottest temp. Let the gigundo hat agitate for about 8 minutes. After that, you have to pull it out frequently to check the felting and size. Otherwise, you will wind up with a hat that would fit an action figure of Christian Vande Velde.
4. Finally, when you think your hat is good to go for your melon, pull it out, rinse it with cold water, blot with towels and try it on. If it looks rockin’ on your noggin, you are now officially a diehard, psycho Garmin-Slipstream Fan. For a complete look, wear with argyle water bottle, Garmin Edge 705, Pearl Izumi argyle socks and Christian Vande Velde Giro T (right).
P.S. You will also have a very warm head.
