SSTraining_DugganAction I’m starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel in terms of my recovery. I’ve had a pretty relaxed summer, although it has definitely been the most difficult period of my life up to this point. Traumatic brain injuries are so frustrating in so many ways. I never imagined how many areas of my life it would affect, with my ability to race being only one of them. And nothing but time and rest will fix it. It’s difficult because to any one hanging out with me, or even riding with me, I would seem perfectly normal. But there are still a handful of invisible, yet critical things that are only slowly coming back to me. Getting that last 5% back remains the toughest part of the process. I’ve really had to relearn a lot of the little tricks up my sleeve, the ways of processing things and dealing with situations, and just trusting my instincts. All the little things that make a big difference and make you “sharp.” Fortunately my family, friends, and my team have been unbelievably supportive through the whole process.

I’ve been riding now for about six weeks, beginning before my neurologist had wanted me on the bike again. For me the bike has been the most healing tool I’ve had, so I’m really glad to be out on the road again. As I started increasing my training load after a few weeks of easy riding, I was feeling surprisingly good. Then I had a total break down where I was in a fatigue- and depression-induced lull and I hardly got out of bed for a week. A few training program modifications ensued, and since then I’ve taken what I’ve learned about my decreased recovery ability to train much more effectively.

I met with my doctors at Craig Hospital last week to get another CAT scan and devise a time frame for my return to racing. We did a CAT scan instead of an MRI because my neurologist wanted to see if there was any new bleeding or anything that may have caused my massive week of fatigue and depression. Luckily there was nothing remarkable on the scan except that a scar has developed from the hematoma. This doesn’t really mean much other than it is there and is a representation of the severity of the injury. That was encouraging and an indication that my healing has progressed.

The things I’m still trying to correct will just take more time and rest. Consulting with my neurologists, my team doctor, my coach and my family, I’ve decided to not participate in any further races for this season. I will, however, take the line at the US Professional National Championships in Greenville, SC in the individual time trial. Having nationals as a goal is a good way to keep me sane for now while I am training to return to competition. It will fit in well with what I have been capable of doing in training at this point.

Lately, I have been able to do short, hard rides, and long easy rides, but long AND hard rides are still a little much for me as it takes days to recover. However, that’s not a big deal with a 40-minute time trial. So this month I have been training for that. I’m hoping my legs can come around in the next couple weeks and I can put in a good ride. But if not, that’s ok too. Really the biggest victory is just to be back with my team and competing. I’m really looking forward to pinning on a number again soon.

Thanks for checking in - Timmy